Tim the Enchanter

Luke has the force. Sampson has hair. Arthur has Excalibur. Bill Gates has money. Breena has diet coke. And now I have something to rival the power of these over-achievers.... the wizard hand. That's right. I may not be as smart, wise, strong, rich, or as loaded with caffeine as the people listed above. But I have discovered that I have this power within my own fingertips. When I want something done, all I have to do is give it the wizard hand (it must be accompanied simultaneously by the wizard facial expression... otherwise, the hand proves ineffective). It takes a lot of concentration. But if I could just somehow harness this power and learn to use it consistently, I could become more powerful than Gandalf, Harry Potter, and Yoda combined.

I first discovered this power about a week ago when Breena and I were driving to the temple. I was feeling especially good that night, even though beltway traffic was a nightmare. As we were driving along the parkway, there happened to be a slowsky riding the left lane. I felt this sudden urge to put forth my hand to try and get him to move. Just like Yoda pulling Luke Skywalker's ship out of the Degobah swamp, I stretched out the wizard hand and directed the car to the right lane. WAHLAH. There it went. Whoah. I sat staring at my hand, marveling at this new breakthrough. Like lightning, the possibilities of how I could use this phenomena raced inside my head. Internally I was cackling like Emperor Palpatine. Breena looked at me and just rolled her eyes (I think that she was a little put out since just prior to this discovery, I was practicing my Chewbacca growls. It's amazing what beltway traffic can do to a person. Even she growled a few times).

If I don't do it just right, it doesn't work. I still need more practice. And you can't just use it any old time. It's like yelling "NOONAN" at a free throw shooter... you have to be feeling it. But today, I felt it again. Twice. While playing Rumikub with my sister Kristy and two of her girls, Katie and Abby, I busted it out on Katie just before I clinched the win. Later, as we were eating cheesecake, I used it to move away those who might seek second helpings before I was able to get there first. Sounds selfish, I know. But I figure that I must experience the good and evil sides of the wizard hand before solely dedicating myself to righteous deeds.

And now, some call me..... Tim? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_the_Enchanter