Men's Issues

I was checking out our blog the other day and was startled to see a label from a previous blog entitled "Women's Issues." Yeeeeeeaah... I still haven't dared to click on it to see what it's about because I'm scared of what I might find. Breena has assured me that it's not one of those TMI (too much information) blogs if you catch my drift, but with a title like that you never know.

Anyway, I figured since we're all about equality in our home, I would write a blog to air out some of the issues that I have as a man. Because you know, there are some things that women just don't understand about men and never will. So women, listen up... if you want to really understand your man, you need acknowledge and appreciate the following things about us (or you can just fake it like we sometimes do). Don't bother to ask yourself why. Men don't understand why women love diamonds and vacations to Paris, other than it costs a lot of moola. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and the more you try to understand, the more you won't.

1. Men like to keep track of gas mileage. We like to reset the odometer every time we fill up the tank. If you think that it's a worthless thing to do, take comfort in the fact that the more money you save on gas, the more money will be left over for a trip to Paris.*
2. Men like the roar of a Harley-Davidson or a good ol' muscle car. It doesn't mean he is white trash, it just means that he's a man (this is good news for you).
3. Men like structures with turrets and ramparts. If your man seems bored on your romantic vacation to Europe, just make sure that there are some cool castles on the agenda and not just art museums. If that is not possible, just make sure that the art museums have castles included in the paintings. That might work.
4. Men like the violence of football. There is nothing that gets a man more excited than seeing somebody getting laid out on special teams. If you really want to go the extra mile, try to understand how a triple-option spread offense works. He'll melt in your arms.
5. Men like watching the Discovery Channel. You may find them stupid and sometimes revolting, but shows like Myth Busters, Dirty Jobs, and Man vs. Wild are shows that men love. So think twice before making him change the channel next time.

That is enough for now. After all, men are too complex to disclose everthing at once. So, the next time you hear the roar of that Shelby Mustang down the street, don't plug your ears. Say something like, "Whoah, babe!! Check out the roar of that 400 horsepower V-8!!"

*There is not guarantee that this will happen. He may just want to know for the sake of knowing.